"Save Money. Live Better." is Walmart's current slogan but it might be time for an upgrade. The huge stores are known for good prices and carrying pretty much everything a person could want from food to fashion. Err, well, fashion might be stretching it but clothes, certainly. They carry large items you don't find in most little stores. Including cradles and anything else a person would need from before they take their first steps until they breathe their last.
Now they've gone one step beyond. Or, actually, two steps beyond. Introducing the Walmart casket and urn.
Considering what a ripoff coffins tend to be — if you've never had to buy one before, when the time comes buy two because you'll need one for yourself when the sticker shock kicks in — it makes all the sense in the world that Walmart would finally get in the game.
There are 15 models currently offered, from the Sienna Bronze ($2,899.00) to the White Haven Steel ($895.00) Don't worry, though — there'll be no awkward moment of having to steer a shopping cart around a grieving widow on Aisle 13. You actually can't drive down and pick one up at your neighborhood Wallies. They're only available online. And have to be delivered to a certified funeral home.
The real afterlife savings take off with their selection of funeral urns. Even at the high end, the Floral Blush Swirl Cloisonne model will only run you $214.05 (Love the extra nickel — what's that about?) Or you can really show you didn't care by grabbing the Copper Deluxe Stainless Steel urn for just $94.05 (There's that nickel again...) Just like the coffins, you can only get your urns online BUT they will ship these right to your door. (In case you're in favor of the DIY cremation, I guess.)
If a casket or an urn IS the last item you're picking up for a poor departed Walmart shopper, make sure you choose wisely: Just like death itself, there's a No Return policy on both caskets and urns.
"Save Money. Live Better. Die Cheaply."