Everyone would like their honeymoon to be memorable, yeah? Exotic locales, romantic evenings, beautiful weather. I had that during my recent post-nuptial celebrations PLUS I tripped and broke my finger on the second-to-last day in Hawaii. Not just a finger but my WEDDING RING finger. And not only broke my finger but in such a way that it required surgery to put things right.
Memorable honeymoon thus established.
So now onto the aftermath. In addition to sporting my wedding ring on my right hand for now — "Get it off your finger NOW!" ordered my bride within seconds of breaking the digit. "If you don't take it off now, they're going to have to cut it off!" In my rolling-on-the-ground pain and confusion, I didn't know if she meant someone would be cutting off the ring or my finger, so I complied — I have a comically large cast on my right hand and forearm. Which is making it very tricky to type.
This blog entry, for instance, is taking WAY longer than it should to put together. Even trying to bring my encasted hand into play usual results in deleting everything I've typed...and I don't even know what key you could hit that would DO that.
And then there's my new crop of hand whiskers. Yes. Hand whiskers. It seems that, when you have to have surgery on a hand, you get your mitt shaved. (In my case, I got denuded all the way up my forearm for good measure...) Now that it's some days after the surgery, I have hand whiskers growing in. And I'm a little worried. There's a myth that hair, once shaved, grows back thicker and longer. What if it's not just an old wives' tale?
Is it possible I'll be seen sporting a hand beard soon? Because that would really be ironic: As my hairline recedes at record speeds, that I could soon start cultivating a rich, luxurious crop of hand hair really makes me wonder how my life may change.
Once I get this cast off, I may be the only writer I know with a comb-over...on my left hand.