The Daily Grill

Lasting Good Looks

Cosmetics queen Estee Lauder passed away over the weekend at the age of 97. She actually died 3 years ago, but looked so fabulous that they didn’t realize until Saturday.

A New "Everyday" For Martha Stewart

High Test

For Richer Or Porner

Whew! There’s some relief for those suffering from the Great Porn Drought of 2004. The Paris Hilton video is being released commercially under the title "One Night In Paris". The quality isn’t that great, so it’s sort of like drinking bathtub gin during Prohibition -- if you watch too much of it, you might go blind.

The Rig Is Up

Charges are flying around that "American Idol" may be rigged because favorite Jennifer Hudson got voted off by America this week. Come on! Why would anyone go to the trouble to devise a system so that the most mediocre talent comes out on top? Don’t we already have the Neilsens?

Fixer Upper

First it was a war with Iraq, now it’s being called a conflict. Once we turn control of Iraq back over at the end of June, we’ll need to call the hostilities there something else, since we’ll only be there as advisors. The leading contenders are "This Old Country", "No-Fly-Zone Improvement", and the leading contender: "Western Eye For The Shi’ite Guy."

Fictional Comeback

By Popular Demand

User-Friendly War

Fight Or Flight

There was a planeload of animals flown from Cleveland to Northern California yesterday, going to Six Flags MarineWorld. I can’t believe this: there was a killer whale, four dolphins and more than 400 assorted other animals -- yet not one of them stopped at security.