The Daily Grill

Big Babies

New Fish Gets Burned

Martha Stewart reportedly was unable to lead her team to victory in a prison decoration contest. No word on whether the loss will slow production of Stewart's decorative prison shivs and cigarette doilies.

Snappy New Year

Welcome To The Party

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld paid U.S. troops in Iraq a surprise Christmas Eve visit after weeks of controversy over his handling of the war and perceived lack of sensitivity to U.S. forces and their families. Troops ignored the fact Rumsfeld was wearing a suit of personal impermeable stealth body armor and was housed at an undisclosed location during his visit.

Soup Is Good Food

Airport Insecurity

Airport security screeners are no longer allowed to touch female passenger between their breasts during a pat-down search...unless said passengers pay the extra fondling fee.

Tree Muggers

The Bush administration issued a new rule this week that streamlines the way the nation's forests and grasslands are planned. Environmentalists say the change will accelerate logging and reduce protection for wildlife and the environment. Administration officials pointed out to protestors that President Bush really doesn't care what they think.

Expensive Pussy

A Texas woman paid a California company to clone her cat. At a price of $50 thousand dollars, you can bet that the cat, Little Nicky, is an "indoor kitty".

Behind The Schemes

Pardon Me, Dubya

President Bush used his awesome power to grant clemency and pardons to just 4 people this year -- all white collar criminals and all of whom have been sentenced with probation rather than imprisonment. Couldn't he at least have cut Martha Stewart some slack?