The Daily Grill

They Thought Hamas Was A Side Dish

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has acknowledged that the United States didn't understand the depth of hostility among Palestinians that led to an election victory by the militant group Hamas. "I've asked why nobody saw it coming," said Ms. Rice. "It does say something about us not having a good enough pulse." Um, Dr. Rice? Most of us figured out -- starting with 9/11 and then with the whole WMD screw-up -- that we don't know what's going on in the Middle East. Can we agree, at least as a start, is to stop referring to reports from the region as "intelligence"?

He Put The "Dick" In "Dictator"

The troublicious trial of Saddam Hussein fell in on itself just after resuming on Sunday as the former Iraqi ruler and his defense team stormed out while guards dragged his half-brother from the courtroom. Saddam's mouthpieces threatened to boycott unless the chief judge apologized, and called for the trial to be moved, saying a fair hearing in Iraq was impossible. Uh, yeah. I guess they could move to another venue where no one's heard of the Butcher of Baghdad, only problem is that the courtrooms on Mars aren't finished yet.

It's All About Hot Air

James Hansen, the top climate scientist at NASA, says the Bush administration has tried to stop him from speaking out ever since a lecture he gave last month called for reductions in emissions of gases contributing to global warming. He points out that the public affairs staff has been ordered to review his coming lectures, papers, postings on the Goddard Web site and requests for interviews from journalists. George Deutsch, a White House-appointed public affairs tool at NASA, was heard to say that his job was "to make the president look good". Damn. I salute Dr. Hansen -- warning the world about increasing global warning is a noble cause. But hats off to Deutsch (rhymes with "douche"?), who has the more Herculean task: trying to make Bush look good.

Mmm...fresh!

I just bought a 6-pack of Hanes athletic socks yesterday and they came in a resealable bag. Why? I understand that socks go bad, but that's only after you wear them.

No Espionage Until An Hour After You've Eaten

A group of intelligence officers and academics are meeting this weekend in Springfield, VA, to hammer out a code of ethics for spies. Hopefully they'll work on manners, too. I hate rude secret agents. James Bond was never rude. He always held the door for a lady...just before he used her body as a shield.

Cover To Cover

"I feel duped," Oprah Winfrey said on her television show yesterday as she blasted James Frey, the author of "A Million Little Pieces". Frey's non-fiction book, an accounting of his life as a recovering drug and alcohol addict, has been exposed as being not much more than a million little lies. It also has sold over two million little copies after Oprah endorsed it as part of her book club. So you can bet Frey is really sad. So sad that he's probably already hard at work on his nexxt book, "Faking Out Oprah".

America: 53 Out Of 100 Are Morons

According to a NYTimes/CBS News poll, Americans are willing to tolerate eavesdropping without warrants to fight terrorism. Fifty-three percent of the respondents said they supported eavesdropping without warrants "in order to reduce the threat of terrorism." This is the same percentage of people who would jump off a bridge because their friend jumped off a bridge.

Making It Up As He Goes Along

Resident Bush has said that his controversial domestic spying program was necessary in light of new threats on an audiotape from Osama bin Laden. So let me get this straight: the secret wire-tapping extravaganza, which was put into play a couple of years ago, is being justified thanks to a tape of Osama which surfaced just last week. That's the same Osama that Bush has been relegating to a position of non-importance for the past four years (remember when Bush told the press in 2002 that, "I just don't think about him all that much"?) Not only is this rapidly becoming a case of the tail wagging the dog, but I think Kevin Spacey did this kind of story engineering much better in "The Usual Suspects"

What Would PETA Do?

The Way It Was Meant to Be...Sort Of

A male high school student in New Jersey can wear a skirt to school after the American Civil Liberties Union reached an agreement with school officials. Thank God -- the world finally is making sense again.