Plastic Love

Two years ago that tramp Barbie broke up with long-time lover Ken for some jerkoff named Blaine. Now Ken's back, after the corporate overlord he works for, Mattel, insisted on a makeover. "It's Matthew McConaughey meets Orlando Bloom," said celebrity makeoverist Phillip Bloch. So Barbie's dumped Blaine and she's been won back. Boy, is she going to be disappointed when she learns Ken's makeover didn't include anatomical correctness.