The Daily Grill

Journey To The Poles

The Demerals (Democrat + Liberal) are howling that Harry Reid (D-Nevada) is being made a scapegoat by the Conservicans (Conservative + Republican) for taking some boxing tickets from the Nevada Boxing Commission, in retaliation for the bribery screws being put to William Jefferson. Is it possible at some point that people are going to wake up and realize there's really no difference in the way either side conducts business? Probably not. I intend to simply vote against every single incumbent. It's "The Rotten Apples Have Spoiled The Rest" Campaign, so let's just toss the barrel.

Good Old Fashioned Baseball

In my hometown of San Francisco yesterday, Barry Bonds knocked one out of AT&T Park against the Colorado Rockies, passing Babe Ruth for the 715th home run of his 21-year major league career. Having forgone steroids in light of the ongoing scandal and, just like The Babe himself, the slugger probably celebrated in the old "triple B" tradition: beef, booze and broads.

Why Is This Man Smiling?

Trained Seal Performs Under Pressure

White House Resident Bush has intervened directly in a tense constitutional fight between Congress and the Justice Department by ordering records seized from a congressional office sealed for 45 days. What the hell is THAT all about? He says "Our government has not faced such a dilemma in more than two centuries," in reference to the recent FBI search of the office of Representative William Jefferson, who has been accused of accepting bribes. "Yet after days of discussions, it is clear these differences will require more time to be worked out." Sounds more like someone's busy trying to do buy themselves 45 days worth of cleanup on a bribery trail that's liable to find its way, one of these days, right to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue...

Spooky Business

Our Senate had no problem confirming Air Force General Michael Hayden as the new CIA director today. A rather abrupt aboutface from a couple of weeks ago when there was no way he was going to get in -- until a bunch Senators got briefed on the domestic spying debacle going on. Guess they watched them shred their phone records in those meetings or something. Anyway, the report online I read said the Senate "heard assurances" that Hayden would be independent of the Pentagon, even though he's still in the Air Force. What he said was that he would consider how his uniform would affect CIA personnel and, if he thought it was getting in the way, he would make "the right decision.". Yikes. Is that statement as subtlely terrifying to you as it is to me?

Can You Hear the Lambs, Clarice?

You notice the lawmakers only really jump on something once it directly gives them a swift one in the nutsack? The Bush Administration has been trambling all over the Constitution (starting with W wiping his feet on it the first day into the White House) and Congress has been pretty lax about any of it. Until one of their own, Congressman William Jefferson (D-Louisiana), got his files ransacked by the FBI over this past weekend. THAT has finally galvanized the schmoes on the Hill and they are all up in arms about Bush usurping his authority. Talk about protesting too much. It leads one to believe many of them must have foil-wrapped bundles of crisp tasty cash in their freezers at home, just like Mr. Jefferson did after taking a big fat bribe.

Maximum Insecurity

A day without explosions would be...peace, actually. Bombs going off in Baghdad killed at least 25 people today. Separate attacks that highlighted security challenges still bitch-slapping Iraq's half-baked government. I guess Bush DOES have an exit strategy: leave them holding the bag.

Marketing 102

Coke, Pepsi and Cadbury Scheppes, under pressure to remove soft drinks from schools, have turned adversity into ads -- full page ads crowing about how they've made "the decision to focus on selling lower-calorie and nutritious beverages in America's schools." Wow, you can almost taste the caring. A textbook case of turning lemons into 100% sugar-free fat-free 0-carb lemonade.

Nicely Dumb

Electronic info on over 26 million military vets was stolen from the Dept. of Veteran Affairs. Well, from the home of an employee of the DVA who wasn't supposed to take the data out of the office. Oops. They say there was no health or financial records -- just Social Security numbers. Which means the health of their finances could be looking very poor.

Hawkin' A Loogie For Science

Big Pharma bedfellows Eli Lilly and Amylin have concocted a new medication for diabetics that is extracted from Gila monster spit. Analysts believe sales might be slow due to patients' fear of needles. "The issue here is how many people are willing to take a twice a day injection," said Scott Henry, analyst for Oppenheimer & Co. "If someone says you can take a pill or shoot yourself with a needle twice a day, the pill is starting to look pretty good." However, it is also believed that diabetics would still rather have two shots a day rather than have to bitten by a gila monster.