The Daily Grill

Time For An Employee Review

Our employee, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, is beginning to get insubordinate. Today he suggested that critics should "just back off" on demands for deadlines in Iraq. "You're looking for some sort of a guillotine to come falling down if some date isn't met," Rummy went on. "That is not what this is about." Apparently Mr. Rumsfeld is not used to jobs with agendas, deadlines or job performance reviews. Can someone take a look at his resume and figure out how he got the job?

More Brilliant Strategery

So White House Resident Bush's brainstorm to help the Republicrat battle in the November 7th elections is to dump his non-flying "stay the course" mantra. Instead, he's choosing NOW to admit that things in Iraq are screwed up and that the US has a long and bloody fight ahead. It's beginning to look like the Democraps can start adopting Bush's proud declaration of "Mission Accomplished!"

Painfully Obvious Solution

The residents of economically depressed French Lick, Indiana, have high hopes that the return of casino gambling will lure prosperity back. Wouldn't it be faster and cheaper just to come up with a better name than "French Lick"?

Time For Dubya To Hit The Showers

Okay, so now Senator Joe Biden, the highest Democranky on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, says that US strategy in Iraq needs "radical change," while the Republicrat chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, Senator John Warner throws out that a change in course may be necessary if things don't improve soon. If this was a baseball team wouldn't we have fired the manager by now?

Putting The Mystery Back Into Sex

Under a recent Department of Education ruling about anti-discrimination law, starting November 24 local schools can choose to go "same sex" for classes, grades or the entire school if they want. It's been some 30 years since co-education became the rule of the land and now we're sounding a retreat. Is the world going to be a better place because we have all-girl math classes or boys-only history courses? I think it's a move by the conservatrons to cut down on promiscuity and retard social growth. What are the chances that the end result is going to be a big rise in gay kids -- all those raging hormones have to go somewhere...

Pen Pals

The state prison system here in Cali is the most crowded in the country, which is why starting next month we're transferring a pile of convicts to 4 other states. Yep -- we are now outsourcing criminals. When do we start downsizing?

Can Anyone Tell Me What Bush Is Talking About?

Seriously. White House Resident Bush just gave an impassioned speech about how we have to stay and win in Iraq to "guarantee the security of the next generation of Americans." Huh? I preferred the good old days when we were there to unseat Saddam Hussein because of his fictional WMDs. And then it was to gift the Iraqi people with unasked-for democracy. Now we're worried that the poor folks there whose current level of tech has them praying they'll get water out of the tap every day are going to come get us? Feel free to use the Comment section if you can shed a little light on Dubya's shifting rationales. Please.

Ricochet & Rhetoric

With mostly themselves to blame (being #1 can be a bitch sometimes) conservative Republicants leaders have started pointing fingers at one other to misdirect the blame for potential losses this fall. And, of course, while they're busy firing off shots in their own tent, the Dumbicrats continue to have difficulty even finding their tent.

Jack O' Ass 2006

Click on the phodoodle to see related festoonery!

Elections: Level The Playing Field Yourself

As the politicians start their final sprint to the November 7th elections, YOU can actually take steps toward slicing through the BS that's already started flying fast and furious. By now it should be a given that the least worthy politicians are the ones who can afford to spend the most to get your vote -- the money is either coming from special interests that they will have to pay back with favors once in office, or it's their own which means they have no connection to the common men and women they purport to represent. Of course, the most honest politicos (not actually honest, just more honest...) can't afford as many ads and endorsements. But in this age of the internet, the one thing they ALL have in common is a website. So do the little bit of work you need to if you want to try to figure out who deserves your vote: go through the ballot and visit each and every candidates' website. If there is no clear message from them there, discount them and move on. Of the sites that do carry clear, concise thoughts on the issues, how many attack the other candidates? Discount those and move on. Of the ones that are left (if there ARE any left), pick the one with the least amount of advertising and endorsements (aka special interest group identifiers) and place your vote. Then do the same with any ballot measures, using the same standards.

While this method is hardly foolproof, we've been putting enough fools in office using the old methods long enough. And if the method turns out to be a big mistake, don't worry -- you'll have a chance to correct it next election.