The Daily Grill

The Snub-Nosed Decider

Oh! Snap! Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki of Iraq and King Abdullah II of Jordan did an abrupt dumperoo from a confab with White House Resident Bush yesterday. Dubya's flacks are trying to make it seem like it has nothing to do with the leaked classified memo that expressed doubts that Mr. Maliki was fit to rule, but come on. It's the same idea that you're saying something dishy about so-and-so, only to turn around to see them standing right behind you.

Kudos To Paul Mooney

In the wake of Michael Richard's video-grabbed blowout at the Laugh Factory a couple of weeks ago, in which he liberally used "the n-word", comedian of color Paul Mooney has vowed that HE is going to stop using the word in his act. If you don't know Paul, he and Richard Pryor spent years trying to reverse engineer the power of the n-word by using it in their routines to shock and educate their audiences. No more. In an interview with an AP reporter, Mooney said that he had an epiphany of sorts while watching the video of Richard's meltdown. There's no telling if other black comedians will follow suit, but Paul is pretty influential and it would be nice to see an end put to the double standard of using the n-word. In solidarity, I also vow not to use the n-word here in The Daily Grill. Not that I ever have, but now it's official.

Hold On One Darn Minute, Bub

In what's being called a 5-page "letter to the American people", Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (AKA "Looney McTooney") bitch-slapped White House Resident Bush's Middle East strategy, called on Washington to pull out of Iraq and recognize a Palestinian state. He went on to write "I hope that in the wake of the midterm elections, the administration of President Bush will have heard and will heed the message of the American people." On one hand I'm impressed he'd write to us. Six years in office and Bush has yet to write us so much as an email. On the other hand, however, I am appalled he would attempt to subvert the authority of our nation's leader in this way. Bush may be an incompetent, self-serving war monger, but he's OUR incompetent, self-serving war monger! For OUR pundits and polls to take to task, not some poorly-dressed, posturing mullah-mouthpiece! So back off, Ahmadinejad, or so help me Dick Cheney will make us come in there and give your ass a kicking to think about!

Painfully Obvious

There's a classified memo that the NYTimes acquired (Who keeps leaking these things?) in which White House Resident Bush's national security adviser, Stephen Hadley, doesn't think Iraq's Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki has the skrote to control the country's mounting sectarian violence. No duh. The rest of the world outside the Bush Bubble calls it "civil war".

She Wasn't Supposed To Have A Nice Rack

Carmen Ericksen was hunting with his buddies in North Dakota when he fired and took down a nice four-point...doe. Male deer are supposed to wear the antlers in the family but, in this case, Ericksen had bagged a female with what the AP news service couldn't resist referring to as "a well-developed rack". Wildlife specialists say that, while unusual, they have had a handful of reports over the years of similarly-endowed does. What's even more unlikely are the odds that a female deer with antlers would be bagged by a male hunter named Carmen.

It's Catching

TV Land has compiled what it considers to be the Top 100 greatest catchphrases on television. Among them are Walter Cronkite's "And that's the way it is" and "Book 'em, Danno" from Hawaii Five-0 to "I know nothing!" as uttered by Sgt. Schultz on Hogan's Heroes and Dana Carvey's "Well, isn't that special?" spoken from the lips of The Church Lady. Obviously they had to leave a lot of familiar lines out, including "You're an idiot, Angel!" (Jim Rockford, The Rockford Files), "We'll be back in two and two!" (Chuck Woolery, Love Connection) and, from Corky on Life Goes On, "I like cheese!"

You Say "Tomato", I Say "Civil War"...

Remember when we Shock & Awed the crap out of the Mideast? Assured it was going to be a quick in n' out? Saddam got deposed and yanked out of a spider hole? Then White House Resident Bush proclaimed "Mission Accomplished"? Doesn't that seem so long ago? Well, it was long enough that now America has been in Iraq longer than we were "in" World War II. And now, with the despotic dictator out of action (and on the way to the gallows...), what has been proclaimed by many as out and out civil war is underway in Iraq. What I'd like to know is how any armed conflict that has gone on for so long and killed so many can possibly be referred to as "civil".

Justice Is Served...Itself

In typical bureaucratic fashion, the Justice Department has revealed that it's launching an internal review of its involvement in White House Resident Bush's controversial domestic eavesdropping program. Wow. An internal investigation. That should be incredibly effective, with lots of answers forthcoming and not a drop of whitewash in sight. After they're done, Justice will probably give themselves some kind of award.

A Confederacy Of Scrooges

Proving that idiots run in packs, the Loma Linda Homeowners Association in Pagosa Springs, Colorado, has threatened to fine resident Lisa Jensen $25 a day until she takes down her peace sign-shaped Christmas wreath. It seems they're choosing to see it as A) an anti-Iraq War symbol or B) a symbol of Satan. Yeah, Satan. For the record, Jensen says she wasn't thinking about the war when she put the wreath up. Just something about Christmas being about "Peace on Earth". Look for LLHA President Bob Kearns and the Committee of Doom to soon ban images of Santa Claus for having a moustache because Hitler did and pictures of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer because a bright red nose is an indication of alcoholism.

Butt Heads

A study just published by the National Institute of Public Health has found that the anti-smoking ad campaign aimed at young people that's being run by cigarette giant Phillip Morris as part of their settlement to not get their butts sued more is not only ineffective but may be intentionally designed not to work. At the very least, the ads only message kids to wait until they're adults to smoke. Who really thought this idea was going to work? To have the tobacco industry work up its own ads to drive customers away? It's not unlike those ads from the oil companies, where they work so hard to show us how environmentally conscious they are. The only time these ads work is when the market research firms hired to see if the ads work dummy up their results to make it look as if the ads work.