The Daily Grill

Outta Touch (Until May 5th...)

If you notice silence from The Daily Grill over the next week, please don't cancel your subscription. I'm going to be out in the wilderness of the Carmel mountains, on a soul-regenerating vision quest. But I'll be back after May 5th with a whole rasher of funny for you. (And hopefully no poison oak...)

Cheers,
Marc

Mission Sortaccompished

Much like a patient slowly coming out of a coma, the administration of White House Resident Bush seems to be realizing that the Iraq War® is a "non-starter". In interviews this past week various and sundry mouthpieces made it clear that they won't even try to assess the "success" of the recent troop increase until at least September. Some of his top advisers were quoted as saying they think any gains from the increase will be limited at best. Hmm. I'll give you even money that The Decider, in an attempt to salvage his lame duck legacy, will hit on the brilliant idea of beginning troop withdrawals before his term is done.

Almost Home

Scientists in Europe this week announced the discovery of the most Earth-like planet yet found outside the solar system. It's 120 trillion light years away, orbiting a red dwarf star and is thought to have a surface and temperature range not unlike our planet. Scientists also speculate it may be home to a primitive race of beings that are so backwards that they regularly kill one another off in an endless and futile struggle to control the planet and each other. Oh, wait...that last part is us.

Revenge On The Half-Shell

Four people in the last week have bought it off the Mendocino Coast in NoCal, all while diving for abalone. The water's been rough, the weather's sucked and all you get for breathing apparati is a snorkel -- no tanks. I'm sorry those people died but nobody forced them to go in the drink. If all hunting had such lousy odds, it would definitely make watching guys go after deer into a spectator sport.

Lame Duck Legacy

White House Resident Bush must be readying his special "Veto" stamp as he waits for the troop withdrawal bill to limp through Congress. It made it through the House by a skin-of-its-teeth 118-108 vote and stumbles onto the Senate next. The exercise in futility will likely fail due to the (weak) will of the People. Or at least Bush's inability to hear the thin shouts of outrage through the thick walls of the White House. Better luck next time, America.

Timewarp

A flick of my wiperblades to the happy dude working this morning at the Valero gas station on the corner of Linda Mar Boulevard and Highway 1 in Pacifica, California. As I started filling up at the pump (they're all self-service), he breezed up in a clean Valero jumpsuit and a squeegee, smiled and started cleaning my windshield. Even asked if I wanted him to check my oil. I was so impressed by the extra service (which used to be provided gratis by all gas stations back in the day when gas was under a buck...) that I tipped the guy.

Just In Time?

As featured in the Half Moon Bay Review!

Don't Miss A Minute

This has to be the best webcam on the internet so far: CheddarVision! Direct from England and the Westcountry Farmhouse Cheesemakers, a camera is trained on a wheel of cheddar and you get to watch it...age. To experience the cheese, click on this CheddarVision name. For those of you requiring more immediate gratification, the folks who made the cheese have a time-lapse video up on YouTube. With over 67,000 hits as of this writing, aging cheese officially has more viewers than ABC TV's The Knights of Prosperity.

Trafamadore Or Bust

Kurt Vonnegut
1922 - 2007
Write In Peace

A Really Strong Hint

What does it take to make White House Resident Bush (AKA The Decider) understand that the course of life around him is traveling in another direction? In addition to a steady majority of HIS countrymen clamoring to end the War In Iraq®, now there are mounting organized efforts on behalf of Iraqis to push our nose out of their business. Yesterday tens of thousands marched in the streets of Najaf, chanting "Please leave, America!" -- funny enough it seemed to sound like "Death to America!" -- while they tore up our flag. The way this is going, Bush may end up joining Nixon as the only U.S. President whose legacy is simply "Oops."