The Daily Grill

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George W. Quixote

White House Resident Bush let us know today that "We can still win in Iraq!" Unfortunately, with mounting casualties and unrest spinning beyond control, there's little indication of this winning of which he speaks. It brings to mind the alchemists of old, who maintained for centuries they could eventually turn lead into gold. Maybe Bush should work on an invisibility potion instead.

Nuclear Fake Out

I love it when the government plays pranks on itself. The latest is the General Accounting Office's "sting" of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, where they set up a phony company that was able to obtain a license to buy fissionable materials...which they did with a couple of faxes and phone calls. Then they altered the documents and used them to purchase enough radioactive goop to create a "dirty bomb". All of this in less than a month of starting up the scam. It's a shame the NRC doesn't have Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff onboard -- he probably would have gotten onto the sting right away with one of his "gut feelings"...

Unhealthy Example

Health food giant Whole Foods Market has been trying to buy competitor Wild Oats and it's been a rough ride, as the Federal Trade Commission is trying to determine if the result might be too monopolyish. In a strange sidenote, it was revealed late last night that Whole Foods CEO John Mackey has been posting on Wild Oats' online message boards for the past seven years under a pseudonym. As Rahodeb, he constantly called Wild Oats management to task for their policies and touted his own chain frequently. It's ironic that the top dog at a leading health food outfit turns out to be somewhat of an artificial ingredient.

Deep Down Inside

I really feel safe. First we've had this inane color coding alert system for years, which makes little sense and looks stupid. Now the head of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff says we may be in for some terrorist action this summer because of unspecified intelligence and his "gut feeling." Gut feeling? You use your gut feeling to decide if you want cheese or not on your Whopper, not to determine the course of action of a nation's security forces. I'VE got a gut feeling Michael Chertoff's going to be looking for a new gig soon...

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Not Not Guilty?

White House Resident Bush has invoked executive privilege to deny Congressional requests to hear testimony from two former toadies...I mean associates...Harriet Miers, former White House counsel, and Sara Taylor, former political director for the White House. The testimony is in connection to their knowledge of the improper firings of federal prosecutors bruhaha. Bush has been using up a lot of that privilege stuff lately. Maybe we need to amend the old phrase "innocent until proven guilty" to include "or because Dubya says so."

That High-Pitched Whine...

...is the collective sound of America's forefathers spinning in their graves after a federal appeals court dismissed the case yesterday which was challenging the NSA's secret wiretapping program. It reversed the earlier decision by brave District Court judge Anna Diggs Taylor to shut the program down. Seems the plaintiffs in the case couldn't prove damages. From a secret program. Dur. I guess the copious amounts of blood pumping out of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights isn't actual proof. Come to think of it, the whole mess is a bit of a paradox: By the time there is enough proof, the justice system will be too derelict to actually rule on the case.

Soggy Sequels

This has definitely been a big summer for blockbusters sequels: Shrek 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 3: Dead Man's Chest, Spiderman 3, Fantastic Four 2: The Rise of The Silver Surfer, and Live Free And Die Hard 4. And most of them have made a pile of money. I'm a little surprised Hollywood hasn't figured out that they can apply the same formula to their more highbrow, tear-jerker movies. I mean if you loved crying to the originals, just think how much more the waterworks will flow with The Notebook 2, More Bridges of Madison County and Saving Lieutenant Ryan.

MidEast Meltdown

According to multiple news reports, Republicant support for White House Resident Bush's War in Iraq® is eroding faster than ice at the north pole. That's bringing up the phrase "unpopular war" again, which begs the question (which I asked here awhile ago but no one answered): "Can someone remind me when we had the last popular war?"

Bumper To Bumper

I was just reading a piece in the NYTimes about the rise in "personalized traffic reports", where motorists are receiving up-to-the-minute notifications about traffic problems in their area via their cellphones and BlackBerrys instead of on the radio. That's terrific -- people scrambling for their devices to find out about traffic accidents aren't going to ease traffic, they're just going to cause more accidents.