The Daily Grill

Random Palinator

Stumbled across the Sarah Palin Fictional Quote Generator v1.0 today. It's a great way to get a dose of Sarah that has the look and feel of one of her random rambling soundbites. It's not clear who created this fun little app, but kudos!

With just the click of a button, you too can create some great mock quotes like: "I'm not one of those who feel like working with existing allies, we are getting into crisis mode here." Or "The way that I have understood the world is that has to be considered also and we've got to remember what the desire is in this nation at this time." And the immortal "I see our country being able to represent those things had pushed for more troops back and forth."

Sarah Palin Can't Even Hit Softballs

Too awkward to watch, almost. I'm talking about the section of Katie Couric's interview with Vice Presidential wannabe Sarah Palin where the news anchor asks her subject to explain her comment about how being the governor of a state close to Russia gives her foreign policy chops. To paraphrase my old comedy buddy Tommy Sledge, this dame couldn't put two sentences together if they were dogs in heat. Check it:

Not So Fast, Huckster Man

It's clear the mercury in our economic thermometer has gone haywire. But White House Resident Bush's panicky call to action -- for all Americans to support the bailout measures hastily thrown together in a backroom pot and stirred with his lame duck fervor -- smacks of one of those Three Card Monty guys on a Manhattan street corner, trying to get the last bets in before the approaching beat cop can grab him.

And although I'm glad the Democraps finally got their monkeywrenchery together enough to slow down the Republicants in Congress, why did it take them almost two full years since getting the numbers together to do anything approaching effectiveness? (Oh, yeah. There's another election upon us. Time for all good elected representatives to actually do something.)

I'm reasonably certain a way will be figured out to skirt disaster. And it will probably involve We The People getting trampled in some way. But, on his way out of office, it seems to me that Bush's legacy is going to be best depicted by that shot of Robert Preston as Harold Hill in "The Music Man", rushing to stuff his suitcase while trying to doubletalk his way out of trouble before he can slip away in the night.

Suspended Animation

John McCain today announced he was "suspending his campaign" for the Presidency to return to Washington in his capacity as a Senator to address the economic crisis the country is undergoing. He also wanted to suspend the first scheduled debate between he and Barack Obama. Just a coincidence. How about they ADD two more debates (plus one more Vice Presidential debate to freak Sarah Palin out) and then move the elections up to mid-October? THAT would stimulate some economy in this country, one way or another,  for a change.

Our End Is Showing

Iran's president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, told the U.N. General Assembly today that  "the American empire" is nearing collapse and should end its military involvement in other countries. Is it that obvious? Here I thought Ahmadinejad was just a power-mad lunatic. Turns out he's a Democrat, too.

Financial Shell Game

I wish I was smarter about the financial mess going on in the country. Everything from the mortgage crisis to the collapse of major financial institutions in the past few weeks has my head spinning, unable to figure out exactly what it all means. Especially with the government, the Federal Reserve and the mainstream media all classifying the current economic situation as mostly "troubling". Gas remains above $4 a gallon, yoyoing up and down between that and five bucks. The stock market trips and tumbles over 500 points in one day. But still not a recession? Maybe I'm having difficulty seeing what's going on because of all the wool over my eyes.

The latest interesting development I can't figure out is how the "save" of insurance giant AIG is being credited to the government, although the real bailout is coming from the Federal Reserve. Which is about as governmental as Federal Express. It's a private corporation, owned by a consortium of private bankers, with a figurehead who is appointed by the President even though it's NOT a governmental agency. At least as far as I understand things.

So there's some serious misdirection going on right now -- as if somebody hired David Copperfield, Doug Henning, David Blaine and Chris Angel at the same time to pull off the biggest magic trick in the world. Someone wake me up when they finish sawing the fat lady in half...which should be right after she's done singing.

Dumping On American Ingenuity

Supposedly big news out of Neenah, Wisconsin, the home of Georgia Pacific toilet tissue. Their "Innovation Institute" is crowing about unveiling a TP that boasts three-ply sheets, rolling out Monday under their Quilted Northern brand. Score one for America in the number two department? Not quite. Seems that in Bulgaria, the Beleana Finesse three-ply has been around for a while now. Beaten to the throne by Bulgaria? They must have gotten hold of some Nazi toilet paper scientists right after the war, the same time we got Werner von Braun. The only saving grace is that the Bulgarian buttwipe probably features chunks of real wood in every roll...

The Year of the Freak Show

The upcoming Presidential election has the earmarks of being the most historic race since the country began -- with the chance of either an African-American getting into the highest office in the Land or a woman making it to the second highest. Either occurrence will mark a palpable change in the political and social landscape of our society. Curiously, the white dudes running with them are among the blandest of the bland. So when it all balances out, one is left with the feeling that this could actually be Ralph Nader's year...

An Ill Wind

Plenty will be written about GOP Presidential nominee John McCain's choice for VP, Sarah Palin, in the days to come. I just want to add that after all the preparations that went into getting ready for Hurricane Gustav by the Republicans -- in an effort to make sure it didn't rain on their sodden campaign -- it turns out they were bracing for the wrong storm.